6/8/11

Ramblings...Honest Ramblings

If my math is correct, it's been a little over 10 weeks since Tad first entered my life...or I entered his...whichever way you wish to look at it.

In this short time, I've made some amazing friends, met some truly motivational people, been completely moved, and restored my faith in humanity. You all say how truly inspiring I am, but if you only knew what you all have done to me. If y'all only realized what you have done for Tad...

I am not sure what's more moving...Tad's physical changes or this emotional journey that so many have traveled with us. I think combined...it makes it even more moving...it makes this all so much bigger. I had no idea 'The Abandoned Dog' would turn into this...absolutely no idea. I hadn't even DREAMED of something like this.

Yet...here we are...

Tad has not only grown emotionally and mentally, but with all of you...your care packages, cards, donations...Tad has just about reached his physical peak...he is almost normal. Strangers don't even take a second glance when they see him anymore...whereas before, we were glared at, whispered about, hugged, thanked, etc.

I don't make a lot of money...in fact, Charles and I are hurting right now (especially with the latest Tad Mishap and my knee lol)...but, we'll manage. We always do. My animals will always come first...they depend on me for life, and I will be worthy of their devotion, loyalty, unconditional love. I could not ask for better friends. I could not ask for a better bunch of loonies to surround myself with. I will have it no other way.

I want to seriously express how grateful I am for every single monetary donation (including the product donation from companies). Some of them were as small as $1...some larger than I even imagined people would be willing to donate to a strange girl with a dying dog. I have always tried to make you all as much a part of Tad's life, as I can. You helped me...and you helped me help Tad, and I can never repay any of you for the kindness and the inspiration you have been for me.

If you aren't already wiping your tears (I know some of you too well!), then stop reading now and go find that box of Kleenex, or steal the toilet paper from the bathroom. However, make sure everyone's done their business, because I know you'll get grumpy if they try to interrupt you and take the toilet paper back.

Now then...

Tad would have received the same care regardless...but, it would have been done so on a much slower pace. He would probably still be hairless and stinky and his skin still possibly red and inflamed. Like I said, I don't make a lot of money...but, I do what I can, and I think that's what's most important. I try my very best, and I settle for nothing less of myself.

In 10 weeks, we have overcome serious cases of two different types of mange, intestinal parasite infestations, severe wounds and infections of his skin and ears, and we 'think' dry eye...in 10 weeks WE HAVE DONE ALL THAT! ...that is unheard of. That is impressive...amazing...inspiring...motivating...sooo many words, so many hugs I want to give, and so many shoulders I just want to cry my happy tears on! Though, I promise I'll keep a tissue handy; I don't like other's snot on my sleeve, and I assume y'all are the same. ;)

But, seriously...in 10 weeks...do you realize what we have accomplished together? We have given life...we have given hope...and we have inspired so much...you may think that this is all me...it's not. Y'all are just as much a part of this. You all deserve hugs and cookies, too.

I was looking back through Tad's first videos...I didn't recognize him. I don't remember him being that awful...I really don't. I'm not saying this to be corny...but, I truly believe that I was blinded...all I saw was a will to live...and a wagging tail...and that was more than enough for me to keep fighting for him.

If Dr. Holliday had said to put him down that first day...I don't know that I would have done it. I think I would have given him one more chance...even just a week...but, look at the change in that first week!? ...I mean, look at what we might have denied him!? I mean...this is all just so crazy! ...look at where we are!

I'm always second guessing myself...I always feel like I've made the wrong decision...and that probably has a lot to do with being as overwhelmed as I am and behind with everything as I am. I often wonder if maybe I should have found Tad a family...one who had more time to work with his protection issues and one who could work him to release energy. In trying these things, I've a smashed camera lens and a smashed knee...I wonder if I am not the right person?

But, then...I catch a glimpse of Tad in the corner of my eye. He's laying in his bed, beside my desk, and...he's not sleeping. He's wide awake...and he's just watching me. Not like a creepy dog stare...or, I'm about to go for your jugular and eat you for dinner...but, a...I'm so frickin' glad you came back for me. Don't you ever leave me.

I couldn't betray that trust...that bond...that obvious attachment. It's that look...that look that helps me see that he is learning...this is all a new experience to him...this is something he's NEVER had. It's that look that reminds me to be patient, it reminds me that he didn't mean to smash my camera lens, and he didn't mean to smash my knee cap, and he didn't mean to bite the drug rep's manhood. He didn't mean to be to troublesome...he didn't mean for anything other than to survive, but boy...look at everything else he's done.

He's moved the world...he's inspired young children to get out and volunteer. He's inspired grown people to donate to their shelters. He's inspired young kids to donate their allowance to rescues. He has got many of you scouring the roadsides now. But, most importantly...he's moved me. He's shown me what true, honest, unconditional love is like...and of course, broken things, destroyed things, inflicted pain and headache...but, I forgive him. I have to...my favorite quote of all time ends with, 'We owe it to them to be worthy of such devotion.'

No matter what he does...he will always, always be worthy of my time, patience, love, and understanding. He will always be protected, cared for, and understood. I owe that to him...because of that look.

I don't know that there's a point to this blog post...I opened a new post and let my mind go...and I'm sure all of you are blubbering messes right now. But, I seriously...with all my heart...owe so much to you. You have helped me, help him, and in return...he has moved every single one of us...

14 comments:

  1. He is beautiful!!! He has come so far. You are an amazing person, Tiffany!

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  2. Thank you for sharing everything with us. I have watched almost from day one (or at least whenever Tad's story first appeared on FB) and I am amazed by his progress. He was meant to be with you. Not.A.Doubt! He will learn from you as you learn from him. He's gorgeous now, but you saw that when you first rescued him. Every time I cry because I've just read another heartbreaking story about abuse or an dog not making it out of some hell hole of a animal control facility, I come back to look at Tad's page to remind me there are happy endings and angels like you do exist. Thank you for that.

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  3. My favourite quote of all time - which might apply here is this:

    When we walk to the edge of all the light we have
    and take a step into the darkness of the unknown
    We must believe that one of two things will happen.
    There will be something solid for us to stand on
    Or we will be taught how to fly.

    ~S. Martin Edges~

    Thank you Tiffany for taking that extra step.

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  4. How could any one let that happen to such a wonderful creature as TAD. He is surely what makes life amazing. Thank you for sharing TAD.

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  5. Tiffany, thank you for sharing Tad with all of us. I think we all feel the same way about Tad that you do! I can't believe how far he has come in 10 short weeks! Thank you! (And let us all know if you need help with YOUR medical bills!) Love to you and Tad (and the rest of the family)

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  6. Thank you thank you thank you - Tad is a shining example of what is good about some humans!! You did good girl.

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  7. Yep, you're right ... crying like a big ole mess. THANK YOU for this message, Tiffany. You have done an amazing thing. I have always called you Tad's earthbound angel. Turns out there are a lot of angels in this world and sometimes we forget that what with all the negatives we see and hear. THANK YOU for bringing us all together and reminding us there are amazing and wonderful people in this world, those who are more than willing to reach out with love, support and financial help if they can ... but as you say, always LOVE ... the greatest of these is love. THANK YOU for sharing this journey with us.
    P.S. It is a true testament to your wonderful writing and story telling ability that you can make one laugh and cry all in mater of a few paragraphs. <3

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  8. Just saw him for the first time tonight. What you have done is beyond amazing. I do believe love can be the best medicine, especially for animals. I am a nurse, and love what I do everyday. But what you do, is beyond what I can express. I loved reading as you poured your heart out. As a mother of 6 rescue dogs, I intended to find them homes. I totally get "the look", and they have been with me for 11 years.

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  9. You and Tad have inspired me!! I love following his updates and cannot get over how great he looks today. Thank you, Tiffany!!!!

    xoxo,
    TDR

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  10. Yes... blubbering mess!! And I didn't listen when you said to get tissues... or toilet paper or whatever. Now I have a wet sleeve. At least it's my own tears/snot. ;) Tad has come a long way. I didn't understand how significant his progress was in 10 weeks until you explained it. WOW!! This was meant to be!!

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  11. If only the humans who dump their pets at shelters, kill shelters, a backyard 10 miles from home, or along the side of the road, if only...they had the same compassion, caring, and sense of responsibility as you...none of us would need to do this anymore. Many shelter directors, shelter boards of directors, and shelter staff should take long hard look at why they are in the business. If their hearts and minds are not in it, then each and every one of them should get out of the business and let those of us who truly care take over.

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  12. He is just so beautiful! Thank you all for taking such good care of him! And give him some scritches for our Meowm please!

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  13. That thing about turning your head toward Tad and seeing him looking at you... I can certainly relate to that. My dog often stares at me for minutes on end; he is not particularly affectionate (it comes with the breed), but it's little things like that that show me he cares.

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